TVF Bachelors | S02E01 – Bachelors vs Jobs


It’s the final round of the 125th
IT Musical Chair Competition. With the open space in the office filled
with useless employees. The audience look happy about not
working today. But it’s also a tense moment of people
thinking their pay will get cut. Playing from our company,
is everyone’s favorite, Mr. Jeetendra Kumar! Playing from our company,
AYS Sales Corporation, is the the 124 times winner,
the dangerous Ms. Victoria! Doesn’t matter!
Doesn’t matter! ‘Cause we will be the winners. And remember that the winner gets… There’s nothing to think about there… -The first prize!
-And maybe some french fries! The old lady taking slow steps ahead. And Jeetu, goes ahead and runs
super fast. He’s left Victoria behind. He’s ahead!
That’s such good performance! Oh man! He’s stuck behind Victoria again! Can someone explain to this fool
that this isn’t a 100 mtr race, but it’s musical chairs. Stop the music!
Stop the music! The old lady Victoria, has won! Bloody Jeetu has ruined an already
dying company. Freakin’ idiot! What has this company not given you? A second-hand PC, a work
from home option on Sundays. -A return ticket to the US.
-Return ticket? Sir, I’ve never been to the US. Doesn’t matter!
Doesn’t matter! What will I do with these second prizes?
What will I do? You let us all down! Guys like you should be fired
the second we get our funding. Bloody traitor!
Out! Get out! I said out! I said out! Sir, the belt is mine. Doesn’t matter!
Doesn’t matter! You’re fired!
Out! If you’d put your ass on that chair,
it wouldn’t have been kicked today. -Excuse me.
-Your pants are going to come off, dude. Excuse me. Someone said that Victoria
and you are friends on Facebook. No comments. Listen, did you intentionally
lose this match or did the old woman play some
senior citizen card on you? No comments. -Tell us your Victoria’s secrets.
-No comments. When are you returning my hard disk? No comments. -Asshole!
-What’d you say? -Speak up!
-Asshole! Is he a traitor? Show him to me. Dad, it takes a little time
to gain success… You useless guys can’t do a thing. You know, even the correspondence guys
from their batch have got jobs. Their old roommate- BB. He’s gotten famous
and is touring India. And what do these guys have? Neither do they have qualifying percents,
nor a start-up idea. To top that off, he’s born so ugle. If they had good looks,
they could’ve trapped a rich girl. They only have their virginity saved
in the place of savings. Let it go, mister.
They’re just kids. Son, have more roti(Indian flat bread). -Yes, mom.
-First earn for it. Want more food after you do that! Mister, why don’t you say something,
I mean, sing? What’s wrong, daddy? You nut, come back to Pakistan.
– But, daddy… Hold on! Sir, madam, teacher. -I’ll get these three a job?
-You? Didn’t your company kick you out? No, I mean…. -You’ll get these fools a job?
– I need fool likes these. Just give me a month’s time. After that I’ll get them a job in the same
company that kicked me out. And I’ll get them such a great package,
where they’ll have to pay tax. Mister, say something, will you? See you guys, in the field, 5 am. 9 am. Okay, 2 pm it is. I want everyone on the field. I won’t waste time in telling
y’all my name ’cause I’ve been living with you
for the past 2 months. But remember this, you can get lucky
with a chic but not with a job. But don’t worry,
I’ll train you. So everyone will come ahead
and introduce themselves. Come on, let’s start with you. -Shivshraddha Kapoor, Mechanical.
-Again. -Are you deaf?
-I’m not deaf, but, some water went into my ears
in the shower, so again! -Shivshraddha Kapoor, Mechanical.
-Out! Next! Jasmeet Singh Lahori, Metallurgy. Out, next! Badri Hooda, B.Tech Engineer. Badri Hooda, B.Tech Engineer. -Say it out loud.
-Praise God! I’m not listening. Is there anyone else here from
CS, Civil or Industrial design? Understand something well! I don’t hear or see the branches
of male porn stars. I only hear one thing- Engineer. E-N-G-… Engineer. 10 minutes!
You have 10 minutes. Make me some lemonade!
Come on, everybody! I have a bad hangover!
Come on! You, you, you! Go get some lemonade. Quick! Everybody!
Quick! Open Word, write some lies
and upload your resume. Type, type, type!
Faster, faster, faster! Fast! Hey! You don’t have to lie
about your name! Tell me, tell me something
about yourself. Hello, sir. I’m Shivshraddha Kapoor.
B.Tech Engineer. You fool! You have to mention
you branch in an interview. Because Bola can hear and see
the names of a branch. So tell me…
Hey! Stop! Let me have one, man. Only a boss can eat biscuits
at an interview. And the boss at this interview, is me! Aren’t your hands working?
Faster! Fast! Fast! And press Ctrl+S, they file
will automatically get saved. Uh, sir, the code is ready. If you keep doing this always,
the company will kick you out in a month! Give your boss fake compliments. If someone say 1 thing,
you say 2. If someone says 2, you say 4 and do it
till the boss is impressed! Because you can’t survive without
licking asses! Hey boy!
Lick my ass! Sir, you’re wearing such a cool shirt! What an over coat!
You look like Sherlock, sir. Sir, you should be the PM
of the country not just boss here. Where do you see yourself
after 5 years? In my early 30s, sir. If you answer like this, you’ll
be jobless even in your late 30s! These are engineers
from a private college? And they want a 9-5 job
in a multinational! Your parents are right. No one can give you fools a job! What are you looking at? He’s just
nervous, not dead. Take him away! Let’s start again! Com on, everybody! Did you see the result
of pampering a frustrated engineer? He makes you brush your head
even when you don’t have hair! He tells us to lick his ass
to get his work done! Wake up at 2 am, shit fast, and
if we make a mistake we don’t a cigarette. He smokes the entire box! There won’t be any practice here
from tomorrow. Did you hear me?
There won’t be any practice! It’s 3 in the evening. Why are y’all at your desk?
What’s the problem? Where’s my coffee? And why aren’t you in formals? It’s not our age to work hard any more.
Those days are in our past. The team doesn’t want
to learn from you. Here’s the paper.
We resign! We’ve signed it.
You write the rest. ‘Cause we don’t know what to write
in a resignation letter. But I’m sure you’d know. -Didn’t your company kick you…
-I’ll thrash you! You assholes!
Good job! Good job! You didn’t even get a job,
but y’all learnt to resign. I thought I could get you jobs at Bola’s
company and get my lunch box back. The one I left in my desk drawer. Okay, you’ve already made a decision. There won’t be any practice here
from today. ‘Cause I’m sure y’all will get jobs. This baldy will be a B-grade villain
in a C-grade movie, this fatso will be the before in a fitness
ads’ ‘before and after’, and this guy will sell coke
outside some coke studio. And as far as I’m concerned… As far as I’m concerned… I’ll be a credit card guy
and worry that Bola. Resign? What’s new in what he’s saying?
My dad says this every day! But one bachelor told another bachelor
for the first time, dude. And a friend as well. Jeetu… Jeetu, please don’t leave. Jeetu, I’m sorry.
I said too much. Yeah, Jeetu. The rent also will get expensive
if we divide it by 3. You fools,
I’m going to give the laundry. -And, we’re ready for our training.
-Yeah! Okay! Wash these clothes. And yes, everyone, get into your formals. Everyone, come on! Fast! Quick!
5 minutes! 5 minutes, everyone. So, you’re going to go with this beard
to an interview? You have no idea how many like you
go there to look for a job. They won’t even remember your face. If you want this job,
make another identity. I just made my aadhar card
and got it linked every where, man. Now? I meant, break the beard. Get your own look.
Come on, you’ll look good. -Why isn’t this project report ready?
-Sir, I’ve mailed it to Jizzy. Sir, I made my changes
and forwarded it to Shiv. Sir, I… Shiv, blame and pass.
Blame and pass. Blame and pass. You have to do this. You’ve to do it
to excel in a corporate. If you don’t understand anything,
blame your boss. Come on, blame me. Don’t wait!
Blame me, come on! Yes, sir. Sir, I mailed it to you
but you didn’t revert back! Very good!
Good job, everyone! Come on, Badri. Don’t pick up
the biscuit till the end of the interview. 20 seconds more.
Come on! It’s happening! Did you get everything?
Do you remember the name? 60 minutes. An IT interview lasts for 60 minutes. This is probably the most special
60 minutes of your life. From the epiglottis. After the interview, you may want
to have a raspberry cheesecake or sugar you may want to listen to Jagit Singh
or Milka Singh when sad, I won’t tell you. But you will tell me what to do
after clearing the interview. ‘Cause I know that in these
60 minutes if you speak some sort of good grammar
and get through this interview, then not just Bola but even God
can’t take this job away from you. I want to say something. Get some eggs from the store
on your way back. We’ll have eggs when you’re back. So every one, come on.
Come on. Give me 10 bucks each. -I want to buy some coconuts.
-Shut up! We’re already so late
’cause of your speech. And no rickshaw guy will take Badri
and us together at this time. So, we… Jizzy and me wanted your bike. -Yeah…
-Okay. Let’s take the bike!
Come on, everybody! Come on! I’ll ride it. -You rode it the last time.
-No, let me ride it. -Jeetu, I’ll ride it.
-Hold on, hold on. You both take a rick.
Badri, get on the bike. -Jeetu, this stopped.
-It didn’t. The i3S technology turns the bike off if it’s on for more
than 5 seconds, fuel savings. And if this happens at a red light, you just press the clutch
and the bike starts. Come on, Badri! And all the best to you two. See you on the field.
Come on, Badri. Rickshaw! What happened?
Why are y’all sad? Don’t tell me you forgot the eggs. I’ve chopped up everything! We got a job! We got a job!
We got a job! Get us some dessert. Don’t tell me you picked up
a biscuit again! You trained me with Parle-G,
but he kept choco cookies there. What could I do?
Would you be able to do it? He’s called me for 2nd round of interview. On Skype, without cookies. But be careful,
even the internet has cookies. We’ll see tomorrow. Sir, I think I’ll be a valuable company… to this ambitious company,
which goes along with my ambition too. So basically ambition, ambitious,
valuable company. So yeah! Good, I’m impressed. Now… I have one last question. He’ll ask about his hobbies now.
No! Probably, sex-life.
Hobbies, sex-life… Hobbies, sex-life…
But this is the last question. Oh God!
He’s going to ask his salary expectation. Are you happy with a 7 lakh package? Fatty, look towards me. He’ll increase the package,
wait. Wait… No, sir.
5 lakhs! You’re hired! You’re hired!
Done! Done! Done! You’re hired! It will be a pleasure working
with you, sir. Thank you! I got a job!
I got a job! Bro, you try it. It’s not a pickle jar, you fool! It’s not going to come off.
They’ve used a permanent marker. We can use kerosene once and try. Bro, this is Jeetu’s lunch box. We even have to steal 3 cups. -You remember, right?
-Yeah, our set will be complete. We can just put a poster over it. Jeetu, I even got your lunch box
from your drawer. When are you going to punish yourself
till, man? It’s time to move on. Get a new look
and look for a job. Come on!
Let’s break the beard. Yeah, let’s break the beard.

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