Chrissy Metz’s Pre-Fame Job Is Kelly’s ‘Personal Hell’

– Thank you again for doing my pilot. You did me a solid. Nobody ever sees the pilot so you did it just to be kind. – No, I, cause I love you. – [Kelly] You’re nice. – I think you’re fantastic. – [Kelly] Well, I love you too. – And it was a year […]

Ellen Couldn’t Believe This Amazon Service Is Real

This is usually the part where I’d make a joke about the president’s tweets, but I’m not going to. [LAUGHTER] Instead, I’m going to talk about something else scary– Amazon. Have you seen what they’re doing now? Do you know? Ohh. To me, this is scary. Take a look. [MUSIC PLAYING] As an Amazon Prime […]

Hasan Applies For A Job At The CIA | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Hey everyone, it’s Hasan Minhaj. Now that Patriot Act is on break, I really don’t know what to do with myself. I mean, you guys know this: my entire life is just hand gestures and LED screens. So, with all my free time, I’ve actually just been scrolling through job listings on the internet – […]

Thank You Notes: Mueller Report, Room Service

-If you guys wouldn’t mind, I’d just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that okay with you, guys? [ Cheers and applause ] James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing music, please? [ Soft music plays ] He’s the best. -Wow. Best in the biz, man. -He’s best in the biz, […]

Stephen Colbert Fills Every Vacant Federal Government Job

HOUSE THAT IS RUNNING ON EMPTY. THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT IS DRASTICALLY UNDERSTAFFED. EACH INCOMING PRESIDENT HAS ABOUT 4,000– SOMETHING LIKE THAT, THOUSANDS OF POLITICAL POSITIONS TO FILL, AND SO FAR, ONLY ABOUT HALF OF THEM HAVE BEEN FILLED BY THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION. IT DOESN’T HELP THAT THEIR CRAIGLIST AD SAYS, “SINKING SHIP SEEKS RATS!” ( […]

YBN Cordae Says Cockroaches From Music Video Went In Places He ‘Doesn’t Want To Say On TV’

– Alright so tell me about the music video. Are those real cockroaches? ‘Cause I’m from Texas. I don’t do cockroaches, I hate cockroaches. (audience yelling) Tell me those aren’t real. – What? What? – Those are 100%. (Kelly groans) – [Kaley] What? Why? Okay look, look, look first. – [Kelly] Oh my god. – […]

Stephen Helps President Obama Polish His Résumé

>>Stephen: YOU KNOW WHERE THAT CHALKBOARD WOULD NOT BE BLURRED? ON MY LIVE ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL ON SHOWTIME, 11:00 P.M. ON THE EAST COAST, 8:00 P.M. IN THE WEST. ON THIS SHOW “TIME” SPECIAL — I WILL NOT BE DRAWING PENISES, BUT THERE WILL BE PENISES. ( LAUGHTER ) FOLKS, THERE ARE A LOT OF […]

Where the Jobs At?! A Linkedin Employment Series – Episode 14: Craig Wiroll

*cheesy music* Welcome to the Linkedin employment series: Where Da Jobs At? My first guest is Craig Wiroll Gigabit Portfolio Manager for Mozilla Hey Tom, nice to meet you! Thanks for having me. Well…I’m not really “having you” – you paid me $700. So, what else have you done with your life? Well, I have […]

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